DEAR DEIDRE: A TEXT sent to my boyfriend by his ex said, “The sex was fantastic”.
Why won’t she leave us alone? She’s always been a pain.
Their relationship ended three years ago but she’s always messaging him and now I think they are having sex.
They have a son together. My boyfriend is 31 and I’m 28. His ex is 33.
I thought he’d never kept secrets from me but he left his phone on the kitchen table and something told me to look at his messages last weekend. His ex said she really missed the sex with him.
I scrolled through previous messages and it was obvious to me that they still sleep together when he visits his son, who is four.
[authenticated-scripts src=”%3Cscript%20type%3D%22text%2Fjavascript%22%20src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fjs.php%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%3E%3C%2Fscript%3E%3Cnoscript%3E%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%20title%3D%22Online%20Form%22%3EOnline%20Form%20-%20Dear%20Deidre%3C%2Fa%3E%3C%2Fnoscript%3E%0A” type=”embedded” width=”100″ /]I told him what I’d found and he denied it, saying he didn’t know what I was on about.
He won’t talk to me about her and doesn’t understand why I’m upset.
DEIDRE SAYS: This little boy is part of his life so you have to accept that but what you do not have to accept is his betrayal and gaslighting.
Tell him that if the relationship is going to continue, ignoring this is not going to make it disappear.
Insist that from now on, he brings his child to your home instead and that he must not be with his ex alone. If he strays again, you need to move on.
My support pack called Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will give you additional advice.
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