DEAR DEIDRE: WORRYING about the whereabouts of my cat is keeping me up at night, as I often go outside to search for her.
I know it’s ridiculous and I’m not being rational but I am terrified she’ll get run over.
I’ve always lived with anxiety but unless my cat is at home, it’s now stopping me from sleeping.
My mother died last year then I lost my job. I’m a woman of 42.
I know that this is the way life is, with its ups and downs, but I can’t stop worrying about everything.
After Mum passed away, my brother and I argued over the funeral arrangements. He’s not been to see me since.
[authenticated-scripts src=”%3Cscript%20type%3D%22text%2Fjavascript%22%20src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fjs.php%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%3E%3C%2Fscript%3E%3Cnoscript%3E%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%20title%3D%22Online%20Form%22%3EOnline%20Form%20-%20Dear%20Deidre%3C%2Fa%3E%3C%2Fnoscript%3E%0A” type=”embedded” width=”100″ /]I can’t shift this horrid feeling and can’t relax until my cat is home. She’s got a tracker on her collar but it doesn’t help.
I go into panic mode. I can’t bear the thought of losing her.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is natural to worry about our pets when they go out alone. My guess is that your anxiety comes from trauma that you lived with from an early age.
If your parents split up or there was family unhappiness, you may have taken it upon yourself to keep everyone together, even as a child. These feelings are hard to dispel.
As an adult, you still keep everything within your control so losing your mother and being made redundant will have been bitter pills to swallow.
Your focus is now on your cat and, as a pet owner, you are doing your absolute best to keep her safe.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6347315654112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]But if you can keep her in during the evenings, it will relieve your anxiety in some way. She’ll get used to it.
You can find support through anxietyuk.org.uk (03444 775 774) and my support pack Coping With Bereavement explains where to find some therapy.
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