DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother-in-law has bought loads of clothes, nappies and baby equipment for our first child.
She thinks this gives her the right to see my daughter whenever she wants.
I am 28 and my girlfriend is 25. Our baby was born five months ago.
My girlfriend’s mum told us that she doesn’t see her granddaughter very often.
Now she has requested that my partner and our daughter stay with her for a few days once a month.
She is being ridiculous with her demands.
[authenticated-scripts src=”%3Cscript%20type%3D%22text%2Fjavascript%22%20src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fjs.php%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%3E%3C%2Fscript%3E%3Cnoscript%3E%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%20title%3D%22Online%20Form%22%3EOnline%20Form%20-%20Dear%20Deidre%3C%2Fa%3E%3C%2Fnoscript%3E%0A” type=”embedded” width=”100″ /]My girlfriend said her mum was being so mean, saying that we were quick to take her money but not as keen to see her.
My girlfriend was in tears when she told me.
She is trying to guilt-trip my girlfriend and while it is true she has spent a lot of money on our daughter, it doesn’t give her automatic rights to dictate to my girlfriend.
We are still bonding with our daughter and getting into a routine so a few days away every month is out of the question. It’s not going to happen.
We are a new little family unit of our own. We can’t become independent when we are always being pressured into doing as my mother-in-law asks.
[read-more title=”READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE” article_ids=”32878410,32867590″ shortcode_id=”5b9c37be-f5b4-4056-810b-db1ff97a453f” /]DEIDRE SAYS: Your mother-in-law no doubt thinks she is being a doting grandma, while you see her as being interfering.
You and your girlfriend need to be firm with her and establish some boundaries.
You can tell her how much you appreciate all she has done for you, but it would not be right for your family to be split up on a monthly basis.
The last thing you need is to fall out with her, therefor invite her round to babysit occasionally so you and your girlfriend can go out alone.
You will appreciate the babysitting and your baby will bond with a loving grandma.