DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend took me in when my boyfriend jilted me – and I repaid the favour by having sex with her husband.
Now I’ve fallen for him but he’s refusing to leave her.
I’ve known my friend since school. We’re both 45 and her husband is 50.
I always thought he was nice but not my physical type.
I met my boyfriend at work, and we were planning our wedding when he turned around and said it was over.
Devastated, I drove to my best friend’s house and she said I could stay as long as I needed.
[authenticated-scripts src=”%3Cscript%20type%3D%22text%2Fjavascript%22%20src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fjs.php%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%3E%3C%2Fscript%3E%3Cnoscript%3E%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%20title%3D%22Online%20Form%22%3EOnline%20Form%20-%20Dear%20Deidre%3C%2Fa%3E%3C%2Fnoscript%3E%0A” type=”embedded” width=”100″ /]I spent the first week moping in her spare bedroom. Then my friend, her husband and I began spending evenings together cooking or watching TV.
The flirting started slowly — he would press his leg against mine on the sofa or let his hand linger when he passed me a drink.
Then my friend went to visit her mother, and he and I were left alone.
We started making dinner and, before I knew what was happening, he’d pressed me up against the fridge and was running his hands all over me.
He said he’d fancied me for years but never thought he stood a chance.
We had sex on the floor then went upstairs for more. It was the best sex of my life. He spent hours exploring my body and made me feel beautiful. I couldn’t get enough.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6347315354112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]Soon, we were grabbing any chance to have sex.
I’ve now moved into my own place and he regularly drops in to “help with DIY”. We end up making love all over my flat.
I’m hooked on him and want him all to myself. But he refuses to leave my friend, saying she doesn’t deserve to be hurt.
I’m crying myself to sleep every night over this man, who I think is my soulmate.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your “soulmate” wouldn’t seduce you in the kitchen while his wife visited her mum.
This isn’t destiny, it’s just a selfish man taking advantage of a vulnerable woman.
He saw that your self-esteem was in pieces, so he swooped. Now he’s loving having two women on the go.
Deep down, you know he’s not going to leave your friend.
Even if he did, would you want him? He’s shown he can’t be trusted.
I suspect you’d spend your entire relationship wondering if he was going to start cheating on you.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free? will help you break out of this relationship.
Then, focus on finding a new man who’s free for a relationship. And work on rebuilding your self-confidence.
Your best friend could be your greatest ally in this next stage of your life, and not your rival.