WHEN Bethany Green hid in the bathroom to text for help after her husband of 14 years beat her, she was 100% convinced he was going to end her life.
Her husband, a federal law officer, took her hostage and bound her, before beating her head with a picture frame.
The mum-of-three, from Florida, had just come back to the family house after running to her dad’s to get away from the abuse she had suffered for 14 years but realised her children had to go to school.
At the time, Bethany thought her husband was staying at a hotel but he appeared at the house early in the morning the next day to take the children to school.
The catalyst
After dropping them off, he made his way to the house in a furious rage.
He then held Bethany hostage for the day as she recalls it being the “most harrowing moment of my life”.
She told Unfiltered Stories: “He bound me. He gagged me. He threw me across the house.
“He bashed my head in against a picture frame,”
“When I tried to escape, he chased me outside and pulled me back in. He ripped my shirt.”
Her husband had refused to let her use the bathroom several times, and when he finally did, she took it as her sign to text for help.
She shared: “I knew that him catching me with my cell phone, I would be murdered, 100%.
“So I sent out a text message to my father and my stepmother, and I said, ‘He’s here’ or, ‘He is hurting me. I’m probably not going to make it. I love you.’ And I hit send.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”Alana’s Journey: Surviving Domestic Abuse” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6363429135112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]“Then I freaked out, and I went back and deleted it, hoping that it didn’t actually send.
“I wasn’t sure because I didn’t want him to find it on my phone.”
Bethany realised she also had Snapchat on her phone, an app her husband didn’t know where messages can disappear, so she messaged a friend for help.
When she finally made her way out of the bathroom, her husband found the phone and continued to beat and rape her.
After the horrific sex offence, he held her in a jujitsu hold and laughed hysterically as she struggled for air.
Bethany recalled: “I do remember distinctly how much he was laughing at me.”
Thankfully, his personal and work phones both began to ring and a bang at the door got him to stop, and he went to open it fully naked.
Knowing what was about to unfold he turned to Bethany and said: “They’re here, baby. Well, I love you. Got to go,” without a hint of remorse.
There stood one of his closest friends from the police force ready to arrest him.
Teenage romance
Bethany revealed she grew up in a strict Christian household where her mum worshipped the ground her father walked on.
She said: “It was incredibly unhealthy, but it set the tone for me from a very early age.”
Bethany, who got engaged to her future husband just three months after dating, added: “I got this idea that I was going to have a fairy tale.”
Looking back, she recalled how her “attractive” husband conditioned her to be submissive and get used to constant fights.
She said: “The first thing that he ingrained in me was that His parents fought consistently.
[quote credit=”Bethany Green”]If I didn’t clean the dishes, I got whipped in the bedroom later that night[/quote]“I mean, every single moment of every single day, and they swore it was because they loved each other, and their mantra was, ‘the moment we stop fighting is the moment we’re done,’ I believed it.
“It wasn’t very long before I was getting kicked out of the car on the highway, in the rain, during wintertime because I was being immature.”
He soon had her drop out of school, claiming she didn’t need an education to be a stay-at-home mum and got her to stop seeing friends as he was the only one she needed.
She was just 19 when she got married to the 23-year-old and shared even the wedding was filled with bad omens.
She explained about her now ex-husband: “There were so many omens.
“I cut my finger, I bled on my dress walking down the aisle.”
Years of abuse
Her idea of a fairy tale relationship came crashing down as soon as their vows were said and the pair were on their honeymoon.
He flew into a rage after accusing Bethany of timing her contraception to coincide with her period while they celebrated.
And it didn’t end there, soon he began controlling her finances by taking away her debit card, threatening to leave her with nothing if she put a foot out of line.
After a year of marriage, she was allowed to know about their finances but his controlling behaviour focused elsewhere.
Bethany was unable to leave the home to see friends or family or even go out to celebrate their birthdays.
[quote credit=”Bethany Green”]There were several occasions where I would be hung upside down and left for up to, the one time, up to two hours, just naked and hanging from the ceiling because I hadn’t done something right[/quote]She knew what was expected of her next, to get pregnant, and she quickly fulfilled her role while her husband began to drink heavily and start fights daily.
She said: “My mum made me swear that if a man ever put his hands on me, that’s when I needed to run.
“Well, he hadn’t put his hands on me, so I didn’t know to run.”
But it wasn’t long before the federal law enforcement officer in training did.
While he was away at training, he would make Bethany send him pictures of what she looked like before she could leave the house, as well as pictures while she was out to prove she was where she said she would be.
Sick punishments
As the years went on the controlling abuse only grew as she recalled she was not allowed to look him in the eye without being told to, and then he began to sexually assault her as punishment.
She revealed: “If I didn’t clean the dishes, I got whipped in the bedroom later that night.
“If I didn’t answer him correctly, I could get hung from the ceiling.
“There were several occasions where I would be hung upside down and left for up to, the one time, up to two hours, just naked and hanging from the ceiling because I hadn’t done something right.”
Bethany continued: “He consistently would tell me that it was never considered rape if it was between a man, a husband and a wife.”
On one particular night, her husband who now worked as a police officer, held her down on the bed and stopped her breathing using manoeuvres he learnt as an officer.
She managed to call 911 that night and he was arrested, but she refused to press charges.
Getting Out
Bethany woke up on January 1, 2018, and decided she had enough.
She told Unfiltered Stories: “Something came over my body and I went, ‘I can’t do this anymore’.
“As safe as I can be, I had no education, no financial anything, I had no money to my name, but somehow I knew I had to get out.”
Over several months, she began to get ready to leave and put her foot down to his abuse.
She stopped calling him “sir”, a request he had made, and challenged his sexual assaults.
Bethany finally left while he was away for work and headed to her dad’s place with the children.
[quote credit=”Bethany Green”]I knew I could raise our children into adulthood without him. And, to me, that was the most important thing[/quote]He called her sobbing and begged her to come back, so she headed to the house as the children had to get ready for school.
When he came home, she was sure he would murder her.
Thankfully the police managed to put a stop to it and put him in jail.
He took a plea deal to be sentenced to 20 years in jail and Bethany was thrilled as she could finally get a divorce and be set free of his torture.
She explained: “I knew I could raise our children into adulthood without him. And, to me, that was the most important thing.”
The friend she messaged on Snapchat for help and saved her life ultimately became her husband and the pair have been married for three years.
She added: “We wound up talking for a while, and we fell in love, and we just celebrated our third wedding anniversary.
“My children are safe and thriving. I have never felt loved before like I do now.”
She also has released a book on the abuse she went through and how she escaped the marriage.
She added: “I want so badly for domestic violence, I would love for it to go away.
“I would love for this utopian type of world where that doesn’t exist to be.
“But, if anything, just to help and help others recognise that this doesn’t have to exist for them. That’s the goal.”