DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since I learned that my little brother died alone in his bedsit, I have been tumbling into depression.
I can’t stop thinking about what he went through in his final days, and I feel so guilty that I hadn’t been in touch.
I’m 56 and he was 54.
After his marriage broke up, he became a loner and drank too much.
He was found dead when he didn’t show up at work for a week, and his boss couldn’t contact him.
The cause of death hasn’t been determined, which means there’ll be an inquest.
[authenticated-scripts src=”%3Cscript%20type%3D%22text%2Fjavascript%22%20src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fjs.php%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%3E%3C%2Fscript%3E%3Cnoscript%3E%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fthesun.formstack.com%2Fforms%2Fdear_deidre_problem%22%20title%3D%22Online%20Form%22%3EOnline%20Form%20-%20Dear%20Deidre%3C%2Fa%3E%3C%2Fnoscript%3E” type=”embedded” width=”100″ /]The last time I saw him was before the pandemic, in 2019.
Although we weren’t close, we did message each other from time to time.
I kept planning to visit, but life – I have a busy job and family commitments – always got in the way.
I feel I let him down. I can’t eat or sleep and I’ve lost a lot of weight. How will I ever get over this?
[read-more title=”READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE” article_ids=”32956503,32878410″ shortcode_id=”1bf42b85-f729-4661-b73f-a0e516c5a49f” /]DEIDRE SAYS: An unexpected and unexplained death is always shocking.
Don’t blame yourself for not visiting him before he died – you did your best.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”Dear Deidre: Understanding the impact of ghosting ” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6349478205112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]It’s important you get help, as you clearly aren’t coping. Contact your GP and ask about medication and counselling.
You can also contact The Compassionate Friends (tcf.org.uk, 0345 123 2304), which has information about coping with sibling death on its website, and read my support pack, Coping With Bereavement.