A DAD-of-two passed away on Father’s Day just months after discovering the true cause of this backache.
Toby Bevans struggled with a backache, fatigue and chest pain after a bout of the flu.
Realising he was struggling to get well, the dad spoke to his GP – and received a shocking diagnosis.
Despite experiencing “very few” symptoms, Toby was told he had stage 4 bowel cancer in January 2024, his wife Ali Bevans, 42, said.
Typical symptoms of bowel cancer include blood in your faeces, a change in bowel habits and weight loss, but Toby hadn’t experienced these so his diagnosis hit the family like “a bullet train”.
The dad underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but doctors soon informed the couple in May that there was “nothing else” they could do.
He died peacefully at home aged just 43, on June 16, 2024, which happened to be Father’s Day.
Ali, who lives in Windsor, said: “Toby’s diagnosis came with very few symptoms and none of the traditional bowel cancer flags and was a huge shock.
“It was literally like a bullet train and the bullet train crashed.
“None of us know what’s around the corner, but we can do our best to live our life today.”
Before he died, Ali was inspired to “take a challenge on” and she decided to launch a JustGiving page to run the 2025 London Marathon on April 27.
Ali has since received more than £85,000 in donations for Bowel Cancer UK with the help of friends and family.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”NHS rolls out bowel cancer screening to 50 and 52-year-olds after Dame Debs’ campaigning ” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6367039528112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]Ali, a development manager at Marks and Spencer, and Toby first met at university and were married in 2011 before having their two children Freddie, now 10, and Tilda, nine.
She described him as “thoughtful and loving with a zest for life”.
Towards the end of 2023, Ali said Toby was experiencing some fatigue and backache.
However, it was not until he developed the flu in December 2023 that he knew something was wrong, as his chest was hurting and he “wasn’t recovering”.
He spoke to a GP and, after further tests and examinations, Ali said doctors “hit [them] with the horrendous diagnosis”.
In January 2024, they were told Toby had stage 4 bowel cancer and it had spread to his liver and bones.
“Your world just stops in an instant,” Ali said.
“Your life is never the same from that moment.”
Ali said she then entered “fight stage” as she wanted to do everything in her power to “make life as good as [she] could for Toby” as he underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
Despite the “brutal” diagnosis, Ali said she and Toby enjoyed spending time together and found comfort in the small moments, such as making each other smile or getting outside.
“I think it puts everything into perspective and it gives you so much clarity,” Ali said.
“In the end, from his diagnosis to the day that he died, it was just under five months and, at the end of May, we knew that he was going to die.”
By May, the family was told that Toby’s cancer had progressed and there were no further treatment options.
This meant Ali just focused on “making him comfortable” in his final days, with “incredible” support from Thames Hospice.
Ali said: “He died on Father’s Day, which was very poignant, very Toby.
“I don’t think it’s something you can ever prepare yourself for… but I was with him at the end and I was very grateful for that.”
‘Life is a gift’
While Toby was in hospital, Ali talked to him about running the marathon and launched a fundraiser that received more than £6,000 in donations in 24 hours.
Just before Toby died, Ali said the donations had reached £22,000 and he told her: “Double your target, go for £50,000, you’ll get there.”
Ali and Toby’s children and friends have since taken on their own challenges and the total now stands at £85,446.
She said crossing the finish line will be “hugely emotional” on April 27 and hopes she can reach £100,000.
Ali’s sister Vicky Plenderleith is swimming the distance of a marathon in 10 days.
Reflecting on the support, Ali said: “It’s just amazing because the one thing that Toby was always big on was his friendships.
“Even Freddie summed it up and said, ‘Mummy, if we make a difference to just one person’s life, it will be worth it’.”
Following Toby’s death, Ali said the marathon has given her “something positive to focus on” and she wants to continue “living for [herself] and the kids”, with Toby always in their hearts.
She hopes Toby’s story raises more awareness of bowel cancer and helps other families “avoid going through what [they’ve] gone through”.
“For Toby at the end, he genuinely said, ‘I’ve got no regrets’, and I think for somebody at 43 to say that is incredible,” Ali said.
“He said: ‘Life is a gift. Do the things that make you feel alive’.
“Toby made the most of every opportunity, and I think living in that way, ultimately, is all you can do.”
To donate or find out more, visit Ali’s fundraising here.
