SIPPING coffee, Serena Kelley takes in the gorgeous landscape of her home in Mexico City.
It might be hard to believe but it was this moment that was her greatest ambition in life.
“I vividly remember gazing at the people eating in the beautiful cafes and thinking, ‘One day I’ll be here with my own money, eating in peace’,” Serena says.
“Twenty-four years after I fled life in a cult and I’ve done it.”
Serena was born into the apocalyptic sex cult Children of God cult, run by David Berg.
At just three years old she was given as a child bride to 67-year-old, by her own mum.
“My parents Sara, now 71, and Alfred, 69, joined Children of God in the early ’70s and met while living in one of its American communes,” Serena says.
Founded by Berg in the late ’60s, it began as a Christian group with a message of peace and love.
“But as its numbers grew, Berg became fanatical, claiming the world would end soon and only his followers would be saved,” she explains.
“He also declared sex – including with children – was to be celebrated.”
By the time Sara was pregnant with Serena in 1982, she was in Berg’s inner circle and had moved to the Philippines to live in his compound with her dad and older sister.
“Even before I was born in February 1983, Berg had plans for me,” Serena, now 41, recalls.
[bc_video account_id=”5067014667001″ application_id=”” aspect_ratio=”16:9″ autoplay=”” caption=”Escaping Utopia goes inside the sex cult set up in Gloriavale” embed=”in-page” experience_id=”” height=”100%” language_detection=”” max_height=”360px” max_width=”640px” min_width=”0px” mute=”” padding_top=”56%” picture_in_picture=”” player_id=”default” playlist_id=”” playsinline=”” sizing=”responsive” video_id=”6368702503112″ video_ids=”” width=”640px”]“He chose my name and my pseudonym Mary Dear, and chronicled my childhood in the cult’s publications, sent to followers around the world to show what was possible when you raise a child ‘right.’”
Serena says that Berg’s followers lived in poverty in communes with limited food and resources.
“But his private Manila compound where I resided, had a mansion, multiple houses and a pool,” she says.
Behind the luxurious facade, however, abuse was rife.
“The sexual abuse started when I was only a toddler – I remember being groped by Berg, who I was encouraged to call ‘Grandpa’ when I was two, and learning to swim in his pool while an orgy took place,” Serena explains.
“I was beaten and men and boys regularly sexually abused me – it was a part of daily life for me and the other children, and I always felt unsafe.”
In 1986, when Serena was three, her mum led me to Berg’s home where they were “married”.
“An adult-sized heart-shaped ring – with tape inside to make it smaller – was put on my tiny finger,” she remembers.
“My parents were thrilled, but I just saw him as a disgusting old man.
When Serena was four, Berg sent her family including her sister and mum to a commune in Japan.
“I lived with two cult members – a man and a woman – who would grope and beat me,” she says.
“I rarely saw my parents – breaking up families was Berg’s way of controlling people.
“In Japan I saw children being trained for God’s Army – made to stand in silence for hours with lights shone into their eyes, some fainting from hunger.
“Occasionally a car was sent to bring me to Berg, who had moved to Japan – but in 1989, when I was six, my mum, sister and I were moved to a commune in Brazil and I never saw him again.”
However, Serena says that her ordeal was far from over.
“I was woken by a whistle blasting, loud singing or guitar playing,” she recalls.
“Then followed hours of brainwashing about the “evil” world, military-like drills to prepare for the apocalypse, cleaning or being sent to beg for money.
“By now, Mum was so senior in the cult that I rarely saw her.
“She’d travel to compounds in other countries, and when she did come to see me, there was no bond.
“She’d take me to the beach to play, but would also tell me that if God asked her, she’d kill me as a sacrifice.”
Berg died in 1994 when Serena was 11.
“I’d been brainwashed so much, I actually felt sad,” Serena admits.
“His wife Karen Zerby took over, and I went to live in various Central and South American countries.
“But the older I got the more broken I felt. I wanted out, but I had no money, phone or internet access.
“I rebelled by cutting my hair and wearing baggy clothes, both of which were forbidden. Mum said I was a disappointment, but I preferred looking “ugly” because it meant less abuse from boys and men around me.”
Aged 18, in 2002 Serena returned to America with her mum.
[quote credit=”Serena Kelley”]I’ve since researched child trafficking and realise that’s what happened to me[/quote]“I lived with her initially, but knew I had to break away,” she says.
“I met some ex-cult members who came to my rescue. One let me stay with her, and another gave me a job in her massage parlour.
“It meant I could save up to rent an apartment of my own. Mum was furious, but I was determined she’d never control me again.”
Serena admits that adjusting to the outside world was difficult.
“I didn’t know about CVs or credit cards,” she says.
“I ended up owing thousands in taxes because I had no idea I was supposed to fill in a tax return.
“But I was determined to put my past behind me – if anyone asked, I’d lie that I’d grown up abroad because my parents worked for an NGO.”
In 2013 Serena enrolled at university in Austin, Texas, to study corporate communications, where she says she struggled with anxiety, an eating disorder and depression.
She completed her degree in 2015 and began a career in IT.
When she lost her job as an account manager in 2019, it was a watershed moment for Serena.
“My career was how I valued myself outside the cult, so I was devastated,” she admits.
“I needed to face my past, so I wrote an Instagram post about my life in the cult and cried for two days, overwhelmed at letting the truth out.
“Friends were incredibly supportive, but shocked. They’d say: ‘But you seem so normal.’
“Others reached out with their experiences of sexual abuse. I realised even people who hadn’t been in a cult had something to heal from.”
Serena says she now uses her experience to raise awareness and help others.
“I’ve since researched child trafficking and realise that’s what happened to me,” she says.
“I’m committed to fighting it – writing on social media and highlighting amazing organisations like Operation Underground Railroad.
[boxout headline=”WHO WERE THE CHILDREN OF GOD” intro=”Initially calling themselves Teens for Christ, it soon evolved into the Children of God movement.”]Mainly consisting of runaways and “born again hippies”, it originated Huntington Beach, California.
After coming to the conclusion that the area was imminently going to be struck by a major earthquake, David Berg took his movement and followers on the road.
At its height, it is believed that Children of God had some 15,000 members.
Advocating a lifestyle of “group living” it was not long before the movement had hundreds of communes.
The communities were very isolated and nobody within them would work or leave the commune.
It combined worship of Jesus Christ with the 1960s “free love” era whilst preaching a prophecy that the apocalypse was coming very soon.
As a result, he encouraged members to live a hand-to-mouth existence with no-one encouraged to make long-term plans.
It was claimed that at its peak, the movement had branched into over 50 countries.
“Being aware of the signs means we can help stop this appalling trade.
“Like the other kids Berg married, I carry many scars from my life in the cult, which changed its name to The Family International in 2004, before disbanding in 2010.
“It now operates as an online network. My mum, dad and sister left too, but I haven’t seen my mum in years and I don’t have a relationship with my dad or sister.”
Serena has had therapy to help with her eating disorder and depression and while she says it’s an ongoing process she feels ‘happy’ and ‘unafraid.’
“Today, you’ll find me in Mexico City, sipping coffee in the sunshine and watching the birds in the trees,” she says.
“It’s incredible to think that at 18 I was here, dirty, starving and begging on the streets for the cult.
“I vividly remember gazing at the people eating in the beautiful cafes and thinking, ‘One day I’ll be here with my own money, eating in peace.’
“Twenty-four years after I fled the cult I’ve done it.
[quote credit=”Serena Kelley”]People are lonelier and more isolated than ever, especially children and young people[/quote]“Working remotely for a gaming company means I can live wherever I like – last year I was in Portugal – and I have all the freedom in the world.”
Now trained as a trauma recovery coach allowing her to help others, Serena also writes poetry and e-books.
“If I could meet 18-year-old Serena, I’d tell her ‘Everything is going to be okay. One day your life will be beautiful’”, she says.
“Of course, I still have challenges. There’s trust issues with men and people who don’t treat me well.
“I was seeing someone for months only to find out he was married. It was a horrible shock.”
Serena says that the Internet poses many new dangers when it comes to cults.
“People are lonelier and more isolated than ever, especially children and young people, and it makes them especially vulnerable to manipulation online,” she says.
“Instagram and Tiktok are full of self-styled gurus promising quick riches if you buy their course and so-called experts claiming they can manifest you a man.
“They tell you to cut off the ‘negative’ people in your life who don’t support your ‘path to success.’
“None of them talk about God or religion, but they’re cults all the same – just rebranded and made even more powerful by nice sounding quotes and pretty pictures. It worries me how few people can see it.
“Remember, no one wakes up and thinks ‘I’m going to join a cult today.’ But so many people do.
“As for me, I still have the ring David Berg placed on my finger 35 years ago – while once it was his way of controlling me, now I keep it as proof that this happened to me.
“I share my story not just to help me accept my past, but to give me back my power. I no longer feel ashamed.”
